My son, used of God. (or Lemons, PT. 2)
The prophet Hosea has been fascinating me lately.
The man is a follower of God. God calls him to be a living object lesson for the people of Israel; his marriage to his wife was to symbolize the people's relationship with God....and their love for other gods.
God asks him to marry a prostitute.
The entire book of Hosea is a stunning allegory. The names of Hosea's children (if they were physically his) reflections of God's prophetic word to His people. Layer upon layer to unpack. Fascinating...unless you are Hosea.
If you are Hosea, I would imagine that this task that God has assigned you would be utterly difficult. You marry a woman you know is not going to be faithful to you, and you live through betrayal after betrayal. Your children are of adultery--either because they may not be yours, or just simply because everyone knows your wife is an adulteress. She leaves you for other loves, breaks your heart. Finds herself in some kind of slavery....
Does all this sound like fun?
As I've been thinking about how to best write about what I feel like the Lord has been teaching me about this season, one of the things I keep coming back to is the prophet Hosea. Now, I'm not in any way attempting to elevate myself to one of the Old Testament prophets. But he fascinates me because I think that there are times when God brings something into your path that just totally screws with your LIFE.
Don't believe me? Hosea. Mary. Abraham. Moses. Joseph. Jeremiah.
Need I go on?
We look at these people through the lens of time, and marvel at their faith and their relationship with the Lord. Wow, did He ever USE them! It's amazing! And yes, He did use them...in amazing ways!
But boy, did He ever screw their lives up too.
One of the things that God has been showing me through this season is that when He is after something (in me, in my family, in my church, whatever He's working), He isn't really concerned about my personal comfort. He cares deeply about how I feel, and when I struggle. But He's PURPOSING something bigger than my personal comfort.
Wow. Is that hard for anyone else to get on board with sometimes?
It could NOT have been personally comfortable for Mary to be labeled as a promiscuous woman and a liar. In the process of choosing her to be the mother of Jesus, God effectively ended her reputation (probably for the rest of her life). This was an incredibly difficult road for Mary to walk. Her obedience to the Lord released INCREDIBLE blessing and provision for her, as well as Joseph. It still would have been tough though. Worth it? Heck yeah. But really tough.
About a month and a half ago, I finished reading an email from my sleep expert friend, and I realized something.
No one could help us out of this but God.
We'd tried everything and everyone we could think of. The doctor, every mom I could get to talk to me, an honest to goodness sleep EXPERT for cryin' out loud (who I firmly believe God put in our path for this time....another post for another day :)
We'd tried everyone, and came out with no answers.
Have you ever gotten to the end of your resources and gone, "wow. It's only YOU?" It's kind of a weird feeling.
It was the day I realized that maybe God was after something, and was using Camdon's sleep to work in us. I'm not trying to start a debate on whether God was CAUSING Camdon's sleep....I'm just saying that I got to a place where I realized that the only one who could save me was Him. He was the last frontier, the only one who could change things. I felt like he pulled back the curtain on the situation long enough for me to see a new perspective.
He was working. He was moving. He was in CONTROL of the situation. There was nothing wrong with my baby (this much we knew), and God was on the move.
I remember pacing that evening with Camdon in my arms. Awake. Again. I looked down at him as I was pacing and praying, and he smiled up at me.
"Hey buddy, you know what?" Like he understands me :) "I just want you to know that I've asked the Lord to work on some things in me, and if He's using YOU to do it, then I'm going to accept it and be thrilled that I got a blessing as big as you are to teach me something new about God."
It's amazing how quickly my perspective changed when I stopped looking at Camdon's sleep like the PROBLEM, and started looking at it like the VEHICLE God was using in my life to grow me in some things. Suddenly the baby in my arms seemed less like the problem, and more like my son....used of God.
There are things that I've been asking the Lord to work in me for some time now. The issues with Camdon's sleep were NOT the way I thought they would be purposed in me. At this point, I honestly don't know if what God is after is only in me, or in our family, or in our small group, or in our church....I don't honestly know or understand all that He is purposing. But I DO know that I want to follow Him in the long haul, and wherever He wants to take me. I trust that there are going to be times where He is totally going to screw with my life...but I trust that those times (which seem to bring the most growth in me, by the way) are stepping stones on the way to something WAY more worth it than what I thought I was losing along the way (right now, sleep. sanity. time with my children. motivation. physical health and strength. peace instead of stress. say when... :).
I want God to work His purposes in me. He keeps reminding me along the way that HE is working something. I'm not a prophet. I'm not a hero of the faith. I'm not ever going to be the mother of God. But I KNOW that God, and I will stand on faith that He IS the only one who can save me. In SO many ways. Right down to the sleep of an infant. He's the One I will turn to for deliverance, for peace, for help, for strength. No one else can be that. I will stand on faith that HE IS the One that I want screwing with my life. Where He leads me I will go. I want to be part of where He is moving.
(p.s. your sweet comments are so moving to me. Thanks for loving us, standing with us, and believing that we'll be sleeping again soon...or reminding us that God will sustain us until we are :)
The man is a follower of God. God calls him to be a living object lesson for the people of Israel; his marriage to his wife was to symbolize the people's relationship with God....and their love for other gods.
God asks him to marry a prostitute.
The entire book of Hosea is a stunning allegory. The names of Hosea's children (if they were physically his) reflections of God's prophetic word to His people. Layer upon layer to unpack. Fascinating...unless you are Hosea.
If you are Hosea, I would imagine that this task that God has assigned you would be utterly difficult. You marry a woman you know is not going to be faithful to you, and you live through betrayal after betrayal. Your children are of adultery--either because they may not be yours, or just simply because everyone knows your wife is an adulteress. She leaves you for other loves, breaks your heart. Finds herself in some kind of slavery....
Does all this sound like fun?
As I've been thinking about how to best write about what I feel like the Lord has been teaching me about this season, one of the things I keep coming back to is the prophet Hosea. Now, I'm not in any way attempting to elevate myself to one of the Old Testament prophets. But he fascinates me because I think that there are times when God brings something into your path that just totally screws with your LIFE.
Don't believe me? Hosea. Mary. Abraham. Moses. Joseph. Jeremiah.
Need I go on?
We look at these people through the lens of time, and marvel at their faith and their relationship with the Lord. Wow, did He ever USE them! It's amazing! And yes, He did use them...in amazing ways!
But boy, did He ever screw their lives up too.
One of the things that God has been showing me through this season is that when He is after something (in me, in my family, in my church, whatever He's working), He isn't really concerned about my personal comfort. He cares deeply about how I feel, and when I struggle. But He's PURPOSING something bigger than my personal comfort.
Wow. Is that hard for anyone else to get on board with sometimes?
It could NOT have been personally comfortable for Mary to be labeled as a promiscuous woman and a liar. In the process of choosing her to be the mother of Jesus, God effectively ended her reputation (probably for the rest of her life). This was an incredibly difficult road for Mary to walk. Her obedience to the Lord released INCREDIBLE blessing and provision for her, as well as Joseph. It still would have been tough though. Worth it? Heck yeah. But really tough.
About a month and a half ago, I finished reading an email from my sleep expert friend, and I realized something.
No one could help us out of this but God.
We'd tried everything and everyone we could think of. The doctor, every mom I could get to talk to me, an honest to goodness sleep EXPERT for cryin' out loud (who I firmly believe God put in our path for this time....another post for another day :)
We'd tried everyone, and came out with no answers.
Have you ever gotten to the end of your resources and gone, "wow. It's only YOU?" It's kind of a weird feeling.
It was the day I realized that maybe God was after something, and was using Camdon's sleep to work in us. I'm not trying to start a debate on whether God was CAUSING Camdon's sleep....I'm just saying that I got to a place where I realized that the only one who could save me was Him. He was the last frontier, the only one who could change things. I felt like he pulled back the curtain on the situation long enough for me to see a new perspective.
He was working. He was moving. He was in CONTROL of the situation. There was nothing wrong with my baby (this much we knew), and God was on the move.
I remember pacing that evening with Camdon in my arms. Awake. Again. I looked down at him as I was pacing and praying, and he smiled up at me.
"Hey buddy, you know what?" Like he understands me :) "I just want you to know that I've asked the Lord to work on some things in me, and if He's using YOU to do it, then I'm going to accept it and be thrilled that I got a blessing as big as you are to teach me something new about God."
It's amazing how quickly my perspective changed when I stopped looking at Camdon's sleep like the PROBLEM, and started looking at it like the VEHICLE God was using in my life to grow me in some things. Suddenly the baby in my arms seemed less like the problem, and more like my son....used of God.
There are things that I've been asking the Lord to work in me for some time now. The issues with Camdon's sleep were NOT the way I thought they would be purposed in me. At this point, I honestly don't know if what God is after is only in me, or in our family, or in our small group, or in our church....I don't honestly know or understand all that He is purposing. But I DO know that I want to follow Him in the long haul, and wherever He wants to take me. I trust that there are going to be times where He is totally going to screw with my life...but I trust that those times (which seem to bring the most growth in me, by the way) are stepping stones on the way to something WAY more worth it than what I thought I was losing along the way (right now, sleep. sanity. time with my children. motivation. physical health and strength. peace instead of stress. say when... :).
I want God to work His purposes in me. He keeps reminding me along the way that HE is working something. I'm not a prophet. I'm not a hero of the faith. I'm not ever going to be the mother of God. But I KNOW that God, and I will stand on faith that He IS the only one who can save me. In SO many ways. Right down to the sleep of an infant. He's the One I will turn to for deliverance, for peace, for help, for strength. No one else can be that. I will stand on faith that HE IS the One that I want screwing with my life. Where He leads me I will go. I want to be part of where He is moving.
(p.s. your sweet comments are so moving to me. Thanks for loving us, standing with us, and believing that we'll be sleeping again soon...or reminding us that God will sustain us until we are :)
Comments
How does one girl find so many ways to constantly make her father smile? You still take my breath away.
I'll tell you the rest when we talk. :-)
Love you,
Dad
I'm still praying for you for grace for every moment.
And hey, I'm not trying to give you advice or an answer, and you might have already done this, but have you seen an allergist?